sometimes angels stab evil clowns with excalibur, those are just facts of life

[hatamon]

What the fuck is a Digimans: The World's Laziest Guide. Because there are people in the world with the good taste not to be nostalgic trash for children's anime from the '90s???

So, despite all appearances to the contrary, Digimon are pretty conceptually different from Pokemon. The kids of Adventure only have one Digimon who serves as their partner, and it's through their bond the Digimon is able to evolve (temporarily!) into stronger forms.

Takeru's partner is Patamon.



Or at least, that's his child form, and the evolution stage he can generally be found at outside of battle. He really likes riding around on people's heads. Patamon's main attack is shooting mouthfuls of air, which is... exactly as effective as it sounds. Its primary uses are knocking food out of trees and bouncing harmlessly off of bad guys. Thanks a lot, Patamon.



Patamon compensates for his uselessness with his adult form: Angemon. Why does an orange bat-thing turn into an angel? Because anime, okay. Angemon is predictably a holy type who is best against the powers of *~darkness~*. In a series full of terrible attack names, his manages to still be especially bad.


Patamon's perfect evolution is HolyAngemon, and this evolution is dependent on magical girling it up with the Crest of Hope. As the name implies he's essentially a leveled up Angemon, with added ridiculous abilities like sucking bad guys into the abyss and curing status effects. He also has Excalibur because that's a thing that makes sense! Did you know that Excalibur was a glowing purple thing you could strap to your wrist? Now you do!



Seraphimon is Patamon's ultimate evolution, and honestly, I can't write anything that sounds more ridiculous than his actual real description so here you go: as the highest-ranked being among Angel Digimon, it rules over them all. Although its true face and personality is hidden behind a mask and cannot be glimpsed, it is the being closest to the "Being of Good" called "God". Why the fuck.

This... isn't even the end of it TBC.